Pornography
There's no medical consensus on whether pornography
is addictive, but it's hard to argue that it doesn't have
at least some negative effects when it comes to
teaching perceptions of the human body and sexual
relationships. And like any habit with the potential to
form a strong attraction, overuse of pornography can
seriously interfere with your relationships or other
aspects of your life. Examine your life to identify these
effects and come up with workable solutions.
Part One of Two:
Blocking Access
Make yourself accountable. Even before you
start clearing your hard drive, approach your
spouse, friend, or respected community member
and announce your intention to cut pornography
out of your life. [1] Finding someone who will
support you through the high points and low
during this effort will make quitting much easier.
This also helps with the practical task of
installing anti-porn software, without you
yourself knowing the password.
Destroy your pornography collection. As long
as this material is around, falling back into the
habit will be easy. Delete pornographic files on
your computer and mobile devices. Throw away
pornographic magazines, discs, and all other
pornographic material.
Install anti-porn software on your computer
and mobile devices. There are many programs
available, but in most cases you will need a friend
to create the password for you in secret, so you
are not able to bypass the block. Here are a few
good options: [2][3]
Qustodio has an extensive array of options,
and works on just about any computer and
mobile device, except for Linux. Free and
premium versions are available.
On a Windows computer, you can use
Microsoft Family Safety for free.
Norton Family Online is a free option for
Windows, Android, and iOS. Try additional
features with a 30-day free trial of the
premium version.
Covenant Eyes, a Christian company, offers a
service for $10/month for computers and
mobile devices, and can prevent even the
account owner from bypassing the protection.
Disable your internet access whenever
possible. If you're likely to spend your time
trying to circumvent your site-blocking software,
stop the attempt in advance by turning off the WiFi
or unplugging your Ethernet cable from your
computer or mobile device whenever you aren't
using the internet for other purposes.
If no one else is using the network, unplug or
turn off your router or modem as well. The
more steps it takes to get back online, the
less likely you are to give in during a moment
of weakness.
Fill your time with other activities. If you
spend your free time bored and alone, the
temptation to seek out porn will be more difficult to
resist. Find something else to occupy yourself.
Start a daily exercise routine . Because
exercise releases endorphins and other "feel
good" chemicals, many people use it to
compensate when quitting an addiction.[4]
Take a vacation or a weekend trip to begin
your effort. Habits are often easier to change
when accompanied by a change in
environment or circumstances. [5]
Ask a friend to introduce you to his hobby.
Social activities automatically introduce you
to a person or group encouraging you to stick
with the change, even if she doesn't know
your reasons for picking up the hobby.
masturbation
Masturbation happens in every culture, across every
period of history, and it's the way most adolescents
discover what they enjoy before embarking on adult
sexual relationships. However, if it's becoming an
obsession that inhibits other aspects of your life, or
you belong to a religion or philosophy that forbids
masturbation, then it's possible to curb the impulse,
gather your self-discipline, and take control of your
urges.
Part One of Two:
Staying Busy and Focused
Find another outlet for your time and energy.
Fill your life with engaging activities. The
excitement of doing something different can help
replace the urge to masturbate, and you'll have a
go-to distraction next time you're tempted. Try
some of these options:
Be creative . The process of turning sexual
urges into creative output (called sublimation)
is something on which monks and sages have
relied upon for centuries. Start writing, learn
to play a musical instrument, paint, draw, or
do whatever else makes you feel like you're
doing something productive.
Play sports. It takes discipline and
persistence to excel at a sport. Develop an
interest like running or swimming, or a group
sport like soccer, football, basketball, or
tennis. Also, any form of exercise will help you
relieve tension, feel happier, and to make you
focus on your physicality in a positive way.
Yoga is another form of exercise that can help
you feel more relaxed and less likely to feel
the sudden urge to masturbate.
Eat a healthy diet . Fruits and vegetables have
healthy effects on the body and provide
nutrients necessary to increase your energy to
make you more active throughout the day.
Find a new hobby, or cultivate a skill. Learning
something that takes a while to master can
refocus your brain on the delayed gratification
of achieving goals instead of the instant
gratification of masturbation. Try skills like
cooking, woodshop, archery, baking, public
speaking, or gardening.
Volunteer your time . Devote your energy to
helping teens who've been less fortunate than
you, such as working at a shelter, tutoring
low-income students, cleaning up blighted
areas, or raising money for a good cause.
You'll get an altruistic feeling from helping
others, and you'll have less time to stray from
your goals.
Make a plan for avoiding masturbation during
your "go to" times of day. If you have
problems before going to bed or in the shower,
refrain from any temptation to masturbate. For
instance, if it's a problem late at night, drop to the
floor and do push-ups until you're too exhausted
to do anything but fall asleep. If you find shower
time too tempting, start using ice cold water only
— you won't want to be in there for long.
If you always masturbate when you get home
from school, make sure to have a solid plan to
stave off any boredom you may feel. If you
have so little to do that your mind frequently
wanders to sexual thoughts, occupy your
schedule. You'll find it gets easier to avoid
masturbation if you're too busy or tired to
spare any energy for distractions.
If you're tempted to masturbate in the
morning, try to sleep with more than just one
layer of clothing so touching yourself is more
of an effort.
Limit your solitude. If you masturbate
frequently because you feel lonely, find ways
to be as socially engaged as possible. This means
that you should join as many clubs or activities as
you can, accept and give more invitations to
people, and go out of your way to make more
friends. If you want to date someone, consider
asking a friend to set you up or join an online
dating site.
Another thing you can do is to limit the times
when you are likely to be home alone. If you
tend to masturbate in the hour or two before
your parents get home from work, go for a
walk during that time, or do your homework in
a coffee shop.
Even if all of your friends are busy, you can
still limit your impulse to masturbate by going
out in public. For instance, instead of
watching the game at home by yourself, watch
it at a sports bar. Even if you're not hanging
out with friends, you will not be alone,
ultimately having no time for masturbation.
Stop watching porn on your computer. One of
the reasons you may be masturbating so much
is that you know that you can access porn within
seconds if you want to. However, if you don't have
the willpower to stop looking at the porn on your
own, then you may have to take other measures to
get the job done:
Consider installing porn-blocking software on
your computer. Of course you will know the
password to bypass the blocking function, but
just having it pop up will remind you of your
priorities. You can also type a random
password in a text file, copy and paste it
when you enter your password and verify it,
then delete the text file. Then, you will not be
able to know the password of your own porn-
blocker. This is the best way to keep you
strong and spare you the struggle.
If you have the tendency to masturbate
looking at porn on the computer, try moving
your computer into a room where others can
see you.
If you have a physical collection of porn,
dispose of it ASAP.
Get Help. Porn addiction apps such as
Brainbuddy are designed to rewire your brain
so you crave real connection instead of porn.
Be persistent and patient. Stopping a
masturbation addiction won't hit you like a
lightning bolt. It's a process that requires
commitment, and you might make mistakes or
relapse on occasions. The real struggle is
persevering, so commit now that you won't let
little mistakes stand in your way.
Set up a reward system. Bribe yourself to stay
on-track with rewards for good behavior. For
instance, if you can go two whole weeks
without masturbating once, treat yourself to a
small indulgence like a new game or an ice
cream cone.
Reward systems are great; just make sure not
to reward yourself with the very thing you're
trying to conquer, which, in this case, is
masturbating. If you say that you'll reward
yourself with masturbation after a week of not
doing it, then you'll only be turning
masturbation into something that you really,
really want even more.
