The following guest post is by Amy Morin, a licensed
clinical social worker in Lincoln, Maine. In addition to
working as a psychotherapist, she is also an adjunct
college psychology instructor and she serves as
About.com’s Parenting Teens expert.
Amy Morin
Psychology often discusses mental health — but
what’s not often discussed is a clear definition of
mental strength. To me, mental strength means that
you regulate your emotions, manage your thoughts,
and behave in a positive manner, despite your
circumstances. Developing mental strength is about
finding the courage to live according to your values
and being bold enough to create your own definition
of success.
Mental strength involves more than just willpower; it
requires hard work and commitment. It’s about
establishing healthy habits and choosing to devote
your time and energy to self-improvement. (Check out
Cheryl Snapp Connor’s post, based on my list of the
13 things mentally strong people avoid .)
Although it’s easier to feel mentally strong when life
seems simple — often, true mental strength becomes
most apparent in the midst of tragedy. Choosing to
develop skills that increase your mental strength is
the best way to prepare for life’s inevitable obstacles.
Many exercises exist that can help you develop
mental strength. But here are five that can get you
started:
1. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs
We’ve all developed core beliefs about ourselves, our
lives and the world in general. Core beliefs develop
over time and largely depend upon our past
experiences. Whether you’re aware of your core
beliefs or not, they influence your thoughts, your
behavior and emotions.
Sometimes, core beliefs are inaccurate and
unproductive. For example, if you believe that you’ll
never succeed in life, you may be less apt to apply
for new jobs — and inadvertently, you may not
present yourself well on job interviews. Therefore,
your core beliefs may become a self-fulfilling
prophecy.
Identify and evaluate your core beliefs. Look for
beliefs that are black and white, and then find
exceptions to the rule. Very few things in life are
“always” or “never” true. Modifying core beliefs
requires purposeful intention and hard work, but it
can change the entire course of your life.
2. Expend Your Mental Energy Wisely
Wasting brain power ruminating about things you
can’t control drains mental energy quickly. The more
you think about negative problems that you can’t
solve, the less energy you’ll have leftover for creative
endeavors. For example, sitting and worrying about
the weather forecast isn’t helpful. If a major storm is
headed your way, worrying about it won’t prevent it.
You can, however, choose to prepare for it. Focus on
what is only within your control.
Save your mental energy for productive tasks, such as
solving problems or setting goals.When your
thoughts aren’t productive, make a conscious effort
to shift your mental energy to more helpful topics.
The more you practice expending your mental energy
wisely, the more it will become a habit.
3. Replace Negative Thoughts with Productive
Thoughts
Although most of us don’t spend time thinking about
our thoughts, increasing your awareness of your
thinking habits proves useful in building resilience.
Exaggerated, negative thoughts, such as, “I can’t ever
do anything right,” hold you back from reaching your
full potential. Catch your negative thoughts before
they spiral out of control and influence your behavior.
Identify and replace overly negative thoughts with
thoughts that are more productive. Productive
thoughts don’t need to be extremely positive, but
should be realistic. A more balanced thought may be,
“I have some weaknesses, but I also have plenty of
strengths.” Changing your thoughts requires constant
monitoring, but the process can be instrumental in
helping you become your best self.
4. Practice Tolerating Discomfort
Being mentally strong doesn’t mean you don’t
experience emotions. In fact, mental strength requires
you to become acutely aware of your emotions so you
can make the best choice about how to respond.
Mental strength is about accepting your feelings
without being controlled by them.
Mental strength also involves an understanding of
when it makes sense to behave contrary to your
emotions. For example, if you experience anxiety that
prevents you from trying new things or accepting new
opportunities, try stepping out of your comfort zone if
you want to continue to challenge yourself.
Tolerating uncomfortable emotions takes practice, but
it becomes easier as your confidence grows.
Practice behaving like the person you’d like to
become. Instead of saying, “I wish I could be more
outgoing,” choose to behave in a more outgoing
manner, whether you feel like it or not. Some
discomfort is often necessary for greater gain, and
tolerating that discomfort will help make your vision a
reality, one small step at a time.
5. Reflect on Your Progress Daily
Today’s busy world doesn’t lend itself to making
much time available for quiet reflection. Create time
to reflect upon your progress toward developing
mental strength. At the end of each day, ask yourself
what you’ve learned about your thoughts, emotions
and behavior. Consider what you hope to improve
upon or accomplish tomorrow.
Developing mental strength is a work in progress.
There is always room for improvement, and at times
this will seem more difficult than at other times.
Reflecting upon your progress can reinforce your
ability to reach your definition of success while living
according to your values.
Also on Forbes:
Recommended by Forbes
Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They
Avoid
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